Adversity Happens For Us, with Ed Molitor

Welcome to the Athletics of Business, a podcast about how the traits and behaviors of elite athletes and remarkable business leaders frequently intersect the real stories and hard lessons to help you level up your leadership and performance. Now your host, Ed Molitor.

Welcome back to another episode of the Athletics of Business podcast. I am your host, Ed Molitor as well as the founder of president and CEO of the Molotor Group. And we are an elite level leadership development organization that helps business leaders and teams execute to their maximum ability. And we have been beyond blessed on this podcast where I speak with highly skilled C suite executives, major college and pro coaches, world class athletes, all to drill down and investigate the common traits shared between these groups of exceptional performers. Really to get to the heart of success. And I just love sharing their stories with you. They get really personal. We get in the trenches with some and we share their insight as well as strategies and some things that you can apply immediately.

And it's funny because several months ago, I mean, several months ago was, I mean, 2020 has been a hell of a year, hasn't it? So several months ago when were starting this journey, the COVID 19 pandemic, I went to back to back podcast recordings one day. And at that time were doing all homeschooling with the kids and so they're itching to get in my office and they were awesome about it, being patient. And Maddie comes in, she jumps on my lap and she looks at my desk, she looks at what I'm doing and she says, daddy, you take a lot of notes. And I said, I do. And I explained why.

And it's funny and you're wondering why I'm telling you this story because a couple days ago what I did is I just went back and I pulled out my journals, pull out all my notes, just went through some different things I do with the business and my clients. And on a personal note, and I realized that it's been a minute since I have done a solo cast with you and actually shared the nuggets that I gleaned specifically from different podcasts and some things that have showed up in my client work a lot. You know, at the very beginning of this, I said a couple different things to each guest. I mean, just amazing guests right off the bat of this pandemic.

I mean, we've always had amazing guests, but I got real intentional about having certain individuals on that I knew would really dive into handling the COVID 19. And this is when were, you know, we think we don't know a lot. Now, this is when we knew nothing. And I went back and I looked through all those notes and it is amazing the journey that we have been on. And like I said, it's been a minute. So I wanted to share those things with you today. And the same things keep showing up from the early podcast during the pandemic. And I think that was right around episode maybe 67, 68, maybe even the 70s. Believe it or not, this is episode 97. Who knew? I mean, we're sneaking up right now, quietly sneaking up on episode 100, which blows me away.

So much to share with you today. But the first thing I should say is perspective. And stay with me here because I want to share a story with you. If you're on my VIP mailing list, you know that I was training for a half ironman that was going to take place at the end of last month, or, excuse me, at the end of August 26th to be exact, up in Traverse City. And I really was excited about it. The training was going well. Some little injuries here and there, but I was having a blast doing it. And then the weekend before the 4th of July, I got out of the water after my first open water swim and for whatever reason, still in my wetsuit, I looked at my email and there it was, the cancellation.

Which for some reason it didn't really faze me. I kind of had a gut feeling that was coming. I was really happy with what the work I had been putting in. So I wasn't going to let the cancellation take away from that. Then the next day, Nancy and I, my wife and I, were taking the kids, Maddie and EJ to a good friend of mine's place up in Wisconsin. And were getting together with some high school buddies of mine. They're unbelievable people, unbelievable guys. And our families had not really ever met all at the same time and been together ever. We're all on different journeys going in different directions. I mean, we had high school teachers, coaches, military psychologists, just from all walks of life. And it was just a great day. It was an amazing day. It was almost a perfect day.

Until it wasn't. Right before were getting ready to leave, my son EJ was in the pool waiting for his sister to get off atv, a four wheeler with my buddy's wife. And I was saying goodbye to a couple friends. And all of a sudden I heard somebody screaming and say, hey, the dog has ej. And then I heard Nancy scream and say, why? And I, you know, I couldn't see cause I was around the corner. So I didn't know what to expect. So I came running around the house, and EJ had been bit in the face and in the chest and in the back by the husky. And this dog was his buddy. I mean, we had been there a couple weeks earlier, and this dog and he were inseparable. Something happened, spooked the dog. Dog got him, and dog got him really good.

And we got very lucky. And I know that sounds ironic to say, but we got very lucky because the dog got him on the bridge of his nose. I missed both eyeballs. It required, long story short, and we had him transported up to Children's Hospital in Milwaukee, where he stayed the night. And they performed surgery, did just an amazing job, put about 30 stitches in the bridge of his nose. No eyesight damage, no other internal damage, you know, and there is some residual damage with memories and things like that. But again, were very fortunate to be where were, to be in the hands that were in. But the journey that. That started with him and with us and his perspective on the whole situation really blew me away. And I started comparing that to the way some people were responding to the pandemic.

And we're responding to our political landscape, and we're responding to the challenges. And there's some very, very real challenges. And those challenges in a business world, are shared in the podcast. You know, people are losing their jobs, losing their businesses, and are going to continue to. But then there's some folks who really have done an amazing job and pivoted. I'll get back to that point. I said early on in this whole thing was one of two things was going to happen with organizations. Either their commitment to authentic leadership and being resilient was going to be revealed. In other words, it was going to be, here it is. This is who we are. We told you this who we are, and this is what we've done, and boom, we're doing it. Or it was going to be exposed.

Your lack of commitment, and we've seen that really play out okay. Now, that doesn't mean that folks don't lose their business when they're doing things the right way. That doesn't mean that at all. Because we all know very well one of the harsh realities of anything in life, whether it be athletics or businesses. You can do things the right way all you want. That doesn't guarantee success. Okay? And it was just amazing to me. And sometimes he'll get quiet and look at his scar and refer to it as a scratch. Sometimes he'll talk about his situation every now and then and say he wish it didn't happen. But he's never pouted, okay? He's never complained. He's never salt. It really dawned on me perspective how much it was showing up in our life during this whole pandemic.

And perspective being the ability to understand what is important and what isn't and how that helps shape your point of view and your attitude about something. And I just want to jump in and share some things with you today about perspective and why it's so important and how you can help gain perspective. Where are you at with that? With everything going on in the world, it's very easy to get down to go into that rabbit hole of overwhelm, frustration, anger, disappointment and even ignorance. We see that showing up a lot right now. And what we are growing through right now is very real and very permanent. You've heard that show up on the podcast quite a bit. It's something that I've been committed to for years. It's something that I look at frequently. I think I repeat it to myself.

It's become a way of life, is that we don't just go through adversity, we grow through adversity. That's where our focus needs to be and that's what we really have to pay attention to. What are you looking at? Are you looking at how bad things seem to be, or are you looking at the opportunities which lie in front of us for growth? The title of this podcast is Adversity happens for you. And I'll get into that here shortly. Are you weak because things affect you negatively? Or are you getting immersed in the struggle called Life and getting 1% better every day? Something we really focus on and something I work on my clients a lot with, especially right now. You know, as I mentioned before, the Malitar Group, we are an elite level leadership development organization.

And right now we are so focused on helping people grow incremental visions. You heard Matt Ishbia from United Wholesale Mortgage talk about that. And we're so focused on helping people grow through incremental visions. We're doing something called a sprint, the Athletics of Business sprint. And that's just 30 days of very dialed in, very focused work. And we pick one thing and we just get in the trenches with you. And that's really, right now, that's what we need to do. And one of the things that helps us do is keep things in perspective. I think about it. I mean, do you get stuck reading all the negative BS on social media? You Know, social media is a big part of my world because of what I do and because it's an opportunity for me to connect with people and communicate with them.

And I get that, but I really don't enjoy the BS on social media. Are you part of the solution or you're part of the problem? I mean, are you getting caught up in the pathetic arguments or think about this. How about this? Or do you take time to post something positive, motivational, inspirational, or what? I love the entertaining ones. I mean, make us laugh, right? Give us something good for our day. Or how about this? If you don't have that in you, just don't post anything at all. Do you get encouraged by your small victories or do you fall into the comparison gap and get discouraged by. Because others seem to be moving faster than you? And this is funny. This is a thought that popped in my head when I was training for the Half Ironman.

I was in a pool and I swim what they call a masterclass, and I do not belong in any USA Masterclass swim group. These guys are way too kind to me, I should say. These men and women are way too kind to me. They're very supportive and they push me. I mean, they really push me. But I remember when I was starting to really get my rhythm and starting to, you know, clip my times a little bit and make a lot of progress, there was a couple days there where I was getting frustrated because I wasn't coming anywhere near close to what they were doing. Now, these are swimmers that swam in college. They still swim competitively. And I realized that right now, with people stuck on social media and falling into that comparison gap, that it's really easy to do that.

It's really easy to minimize your small victories, your small successes, when what you need to be doing, what we need to be doing, is embracing the heck out of those things. If you follow me on Instagram, I think I put it on Facebook. I put it on Facebook as well. It got a great response on Facebook. I posted a picture of EJ and I. And I just mentioned the journey he's been on since the summer. And I've been very intentional about celebrating. And I do this for both kids, obviously. But with ej, he got his purple striped belt in karate. He's been in karate for a few years, I think, now. And it was a big deal. It was a huge deal. And there's a picture of him jumping up in my arms, hugging me.

I almost get choked up thinking about it and how much it meant to him. And that's what you need to be doing. That's what we all need to be doing. What's our small victories? Our small successes. And let's feel that emotion. Don't compare your small successes to somebody else and what their level is to get out of that comparison gap. And here's another thing that I, you know, and I had this conversation with my clients a lot and friends, really friends and family members. Are you constantly identifying the different ways the deck seems to be stacked against you or. And you know, it's coming. The question that's always coming. Are you doing the best you can with what you have to become the best you are capable of becoming?

Again, if you're on my mailing list now, if you're not on my mailing list and you want to be, just hit me up@ed themolator group.com and request to be put on the mailing list. Or you can even go to athleticsofbusiness.com website and download my new ebook on vulnerability. Growing through a crisis. And not just going through a crisis, but anyhow, love to get you on there, but that's something I talk about to my list all the time. Are you doing the best you can with what you have to become the best you are capable of becoming? And here's how I break that down. Are you doing the best you can mentally, physically and emotionally? We all know how we think is how we feel and how we feel is how we act.

So you can control how you act, which will determine your level of success by controlling how you think. And that's the one thing we have control over every single day from the time we wake up is what is our thought? Are we embracing positivity? Are we controlling our thoughts by what we focus our attention on? And are we doing the best we can with what we have? What do you have? You have your resources, right? You have your skillset, you have your strengths. And you also have your circumstances. And you know what? We need to own our circumstances. And we need to realize that our circumstances do not define us, but how we respond absolutely will determine the path to success that we take. And to become the best you are capable of becoming.

We know we will never even scratch the surface of our potential. But are we getting 1% better every single day? Are we being intentional about what our projects and tasks are? Are we being intentional about what activities we need to execute to work towards our goals? And are we pushing ourself outside our comfort zone? Okay, so are you doing the best you can with what you have to become the best you're capable of becoming. We've talked about that in the podcast several times. Matter of fact, there was a solo cast wrapped around it. I mean, this is all very real, right? I've had conversations with folks who have lost loved ones, lost their jobs, losing their jobs. They battled the COVID with their back against the wall. No idea what was going on. Friends that are on the front line, treating Covid.

Friends that are on the front line right now with the racial tension that we have, walking the streets with protesters while wearing a badging uniform in Chicago, man, it's just. This is all so real. Some amazing podcast guests and peers and friends of mine pivoted their organization immediately. Right. And relying on their authentic leadership style, and watched as it collectively grew through adversity. And again, what do all these people have in common? It's perspective. So. So here's the thing. You're probably sitting there like, this is great. I get his perspective, but it sounds so much easier than it is. And you're right. Right. It's simple for us to say what we need to do, but it's not easy for us to do it. And that's very normal. So sometimes gaining perspective is an uphill battle. So how do It?

Well, I do have a process. It's not something that always comes easy to me. You know, it's funny, for whatever reason, and I'm wired this way for whatever reason. I think a lot of this has to do with my story and my background and my journey and some of the things I've been through. And I've been through some pretty significant challenges. I have a tendency to really have the ability to have perspective on big situations, on life and death situations, on major financial situations, on major business decisions, on major personal decisions. And then sometimes I struggle with perspective on the little things, like, the kid's not listening to you. When I coach people not doing what they say they're going to do, even though I know that there's something going on in the world, just sometimes little things, but having perspective.

So it's significant to really apply what I'm going to share with you, regardless of the enormity of the situation, because every situation affects us, and truth be told, is we need to focus on what we can control. And we'll talk about that here in a little bit. But here's what I do. The first thing I do is breathe. Just breathe. Okay? If you go back and listen to my podcast with Rob Dubay, that was the first thing he had his company do. Everyone here, let's just collectively catch our breath, let's just breathe, and let's figure out this situation we're really in. And that was back in March. Okay, then what I do is I make sure that I get present, all right? I'm where my feet are, I'm where my heart is.

I get my head there and I be present and I understand what is going on and what is going on as it pertains to me, as it pertains to my team, to my organization, to my family, as it pertains to my world. I can't worry about your world. I can't worry about the nonsense going on in the government. I can't worry about how this pertains to college athletics unless it's one of the groups programs that I'm working with. But the big picture for me is a small picture. How does this pertain to my world right now? And then I focus on the controllable. I figure out, what are the controllables? Not things that I can influence, but can control, but what are the controllables? What absolutely do I have control over? And then I jump into the fight. I embrace the struggle.

And I embrace the struggle by immediately going to work to help others. Okay, so let's back up. First thing I do is breathe. Second thing I do is get really present and understand what is in front of me as it pertains to me and my world, my team, my group, my organization, my family. Third, I focus on the controllable. Fourth, I embrace a struggle. I get into the fight, and I do that by helping others. All right? Then I continue to lock into my process. And here's where it gets real. I hold myself accountable. You can have grace with yourself. You can forgive yourself for mistakes and not executing flawlessly, but you absolutely have to hold yourself accountable for doing what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, how it needs to be done to the best of your ability. Okay?

Something you can control. And then. And this is so relevant right now, I mean, it's always. This is just so pertinent. Be flexible and agile. This is such a fluid situation still. I mean, it is still fluid, which blows me away after several months. And it's just the world that we are in right now. And then here's the other thing. I'm going to talk about balanced diet here in a little bit. But continue to feed your mind on a daily basis. The fuel for positive energy. Okay, so what are you reading? What are you watching? What are you listening? To and what's the conversation that you're having inside your head? And then what's the conversation you're having with others? And then again, at the end of the day, be very real in identifying what is important and what isn't.

We spend so much time worrying about the things we need to say yes to. You need to really commit to saying no to the things that aren't relevant in your life. And unfortunately, perspective is something that's been thrown upon us, right? For a lot of us, it hasn't been an option to work towards gaining perspective. It's something you either need to gain that right now or you're going to fall behind. And I just think it's such a big deal, you know, I think it's such a big deal. And one of the big mind shifts I had a long time ago, such a long time ago, and it's right up there with growing through adversity, not going through adversity, but one of the big mind shifts I had was this. Adversity does not happen to us. It happens for us, okay?

Adversity does not happen to us. It happens for us. Now think about that. When we think that something happened to us, we become the victim. A lot of us will throw a pity party for ourselves and that does not serve you. It doesn't serve people in your life, and it doesn't serve those that are counting on you to lead and perform every single day, whether it be at the office, whether it be at home. When we believe that adversity happens for us, for you, then we see opportunity where others see obstacles. Think about that. Opportunity where others see obstacles. Now, we've heard it a thousand times, but I really want you to think, as I talk here, I want you to think about how this is showing up in your world, okay? We grab control of our response and actions.

We become proactive versus reactive. And again, most importantly, we grow through challenging times and not just go through them. The companies, the organizations, the teams, the leaders that have talked that have really moved me and inspired me and the ones that I follow are the ones that believe the same thing I do. When we get to the other side of this time, when we get to the other side of adversity, what are we going to look like? What do we want it to look like? Are we going to better? Are we going to be more? Or are we going to just, let's just get through this. Let's pick up the pieces and bounce back. Why don't you bounce forward as Opposed to bouncing back. All right?

You know, and if you think about, in this sense, adversity happening to us, adversity happening to you, it allows us to direct our mental and emotional energy toward creatively finding a solution and to see things that the tunnel vision of a victim's mentality would not allow us to see. Because that's. We get into that fight or flight situation, we become the victim, right? And we become so tunnel vision when we take a step back and we breathe and we do the things that I've talked about and we say, okay, this is an opportunity that's happening for us. Let's see how this evolves and it plays out. Let's not just see what's in front of us. Let's see what's to the left. Let's see what's to the right. Let's figure this all out. Now, here's another thing I love.

When you embrace this mentality, you're going to attract winners and you're going to help inspire the people that you lead and serve. And then the law of multiplication comes in. They're going to inspire those that they lead and serve as well. Okay? Think about how powerful that is and how that mindset could have changed a lot of things in your life. And I'm not asking you to go down that path of regrets, but seriously, think about putting that mindset in there. And I'm going to provide an exercise for you here shortly. Now, let's dial into the present and lean into how this statement, that mindset, can benefit us right now. Okay? They say life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

I want to say life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it. So I want to ask you a question. What's going on in your world right now? Right now, whether it be physical, mental, emotional, what's going on in your world right now, where this mindset, that adversity happens for us can make a difference? I'm not trying to be motivational, okay? This is just a matter of fact reality check helping you gain perspective of where our world is. And again, I apologize. It's been a while since the solo cast because there's so much more to share with you. We'll have a couple more here coming up in the next couple months.

But this reality check, if it can move you to realize that you have the power, the ability to make a positive out of a negative, and that power is in your hands. And when you realize adversity happens for you. I'm going to say it again. You're going to see there's opportunity where others see obstacles. And as you do this consistently over time, this is unbelievable. As you do this consistently over time. Because we know that's where the magics takes place. Success isn't just about sacrifices and having great days. It's about developing the ability to endure what life gives us and to do the best we can with what we have to become the best we are capable of becoming. Consistently, right? Consistently. And I talk into being your best even when you're not at your best.

And Steve Martin, who is one of my all time favorite actors, I mean, and comedians, he's an unreal talent, incredible person. But he talked about anyone can be great. Now this is going to sound, you could really dissect this in different ways, but this speaks into consistency. And I want to talk about this. Anyone can be great. There's always a night when you're on it, but what about the next night when you don't have that hot audience and you've got to be just good? That's the hard part. He's talking about doing standup work, right? I tie that into my speaking world. But consistently, can you be good every single day at doing the little things to embrace the fact that adversity is happening for you? So here's an exercise I use when something shows up in my life that is a form of adversity.

I have all my clients use this, I have their teams use this. I go through the exercise with them. It's going to seem quite simple, but I promise you it'll be quite powerful. Okay. And what I love is when I sent this out in my email list, I had several folks immediately share their results with me once they were done. And it was pretty cool to see just a little mind shift. How much of a difference that can make. Alright, first thing you do is write down at the top of a piece of paper. So just take a basic piece of paper, write down on top piece of paper what the adverse situation is and then below that write down how it makes you feel. Because you have to give yourself permission to experience those emotions and to own them.

So at the top write down the adverse situation. Below it write down how it makes you feel because you have to give yourself permission to experience those emotions and own them. You really want to run through this? Okay, now go all in on this exercise with me because that's how you're going to see the best result. Then draw a line down the Middle of the paper, right down the middle, on the left side, at the top, write the words happened to me. And on the right side, write down the word happened for me. Okay? And then go to work. Start with the happened to me. Just get it out, regurgitate it, throw up on the paper, just go down that rabbit hole. Why it happened to you, how it happened to you. Oh my God. How are you going to react to this?

By it happening to you, all that stuff. Then jump over and let's go have some fun to happen for me. And really take your time and think through this. Really take your time. How it happened for you, how this showed up in your life, how it affects you, how it affects others, and how you're going to utilize this opportunity to impact others, to grow as a leader, to grow as a person. Right? To take your performance up a level because you're going to see so much positive in that opportunity. And please don't do what some people do. They keep going back to their default. We need you to get a new default. They keep going back to their default and their eyes creep over to that left side of the paper.

Yeah, but no, okay, this happened for you and let's figure out how it happened for you. Because you control your thoughts control how you feel. And how you feel is what drives how you act. So where do you think you're going to act and execute at a higher, more positive, more productive, more fulfilling level when it happens to you or when it happens for you? So take the time. And this is one of the exercises that I'm doing inside of the athletics of Business Sprint. And speaking of which, if you're interested in finding out about the athletics of business sprint, 30 days, we lock in, we run a ton of feedback loops. It's like a high rep workout. Constantly, constantly getting touches, constantly getting feedback, constantly working on things.

Go ahead and email me@edhemolitorgroup.com and simply put the words in the subject line sprint and I will get back to you immediately. We are letting five new people into this month's Sprint and I would love to talk to you about it. Even if it's something you might not think you're good for now just because of everything going on in your world. Well, I would argue then you need it now more than ever. Maybe something you're interested in learning more for down the road or for someone else. Again, email me edemolator group and just type in the word sprint in the subject line now. One of the last things I want to leave you with here today. And this has been great. Hope you enjoy this as much as I have.

The story about EJ that I shared with you is something that I think can resonate with everybody because we all have something that someone in our family or a friend goes through where we have to find a proper perspective and we have to give them strength. And it's funny because Little man is the one who gave us strength. And it made me realize that I could be doing a better job. And the last thing that I realized is in this turbulent time, like any time of adversity, and I think this is so important. This is not a political podcast, will never be a political podcast. I will never talk politics on it, but I will talk leadership, and I will talk authenticity, I will talk resiliency, and I will talk servant mindset. Okay. And I think it's very important for us right now.

You know, as a matter of fact, before we leave, I have some notes I was going to share with you on the next solo cast. I think I'm going to leave them with you here today. So stay with me here to the end. It's eight things that I've learned from all of my podcasts during this pandemic. But this is something that my father told me, and that's no surprise if you listen to R2 podcasts that I listen to everything he says. But something my father told me at a very early age, and I heard him say it often to his teams, if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. Now, it's funny how some piece of advice you receive when you're young are timeless, right? And their power shows up in different times of your life and. And for different reasons.

And this is one of them. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. I'm sure a couple of you chuckled listening to this, and your thoughts immediately race to many things going on in our country. Okay. And hopefully it put a smile on some of your faces to think about the stand that we are taking with Black Lives Matters and some other things that are going on. But, you know, one of the most valuable lessons I learned in life came from hanging around my dad's basketball practices, you know, and he would always tell him this, right? If you don't stand for something, you fall for anything. And it showed up. It showed up when I was choosing all the way back in high school a few years ago who to hang out with.

I showed up when I was a walk on a crate and trying to navigate my way through that part of my journey and trying to find my identity and keep my self confidence. I showed up when I began my college coaching career and I would seek advice on how to excel as a young coach and who I would ask and whose brain I would pick and what circle I would run in. I showed up when I transitioned into the business world and talk about getting outside your comfort zone, man, my entire life was basketball and I quickly found myself in unfamiliar territory of having this opportunity to make a lot of money fast and spend a lot of money fast too. It showed up in some very personal struggles. It really did.

And it's something that kept me alive for a long time because though I was getting my butt whooped by some demons, I still knew that I stood for something deep down inside and I wasn't going to fail. I wasn't going to fall. I used to say I'm never going to die at sea. This showed up when I committed to my amazing wife Nancy 14 years ago and we got married. It shows up with my family. Probably more than my kids would like. Probably safe to say, a lot more than my kids would like. But it does show up in how I raise my children and shows up in my business, how I'm locked into doing the best I can each day. Full transparency.

Today was one of those days that I wake up at 3am and my mind wasn't racing but my mind was focused and I just thought it was best I get my butt out of bed before I forgot it was a thing that was on my mind and I've been to work ever since. It had been very easy to go back to sleep. But I'm committed, right? Not interested. I'm committed. And we talked about that in previous podcasts. You know, this piece of advice and my focus on what I stand for drives me every single day to direct my attention on what the controllable. Another thing that has showed up so much during this pandemic to not get overwhelmed with the world we are living in. Because when you stand for something, you're able to lean into that, lean on that.

You don't have the fear of missing out. Right? You do a better job with the comparison gap it shows up to when I grow through the personal, professional adversity in my life to not get caught up in negative rhetoric. I don't get this and help me here and maybe I'm wrong. Help me. But another saying I heard a long time ago and it was in my dad's locker room was it's Better to keep your mouth shut and for people to think you a fool than to open it and prove them correct. This nonsense that's going on right now in our country and it shows up in leadership. I've had heart to hearts with my clients where it's showing up. The majority of people right now are looking for a fight. The only fight you need to look for is inside.

I always talk about running to the fight, and I don't mean that in a negative connotation. I mean, okay, let's go see the challenges and adversity and the opportunities there and let's go get it. Just look internally, knock off this external stuff. Because if you stand for something, if you plant your feet, draw a line in the sand, and you stand for something, then you're going to focus on what you need to do to accomplish your dreams, your organization's dreams, your business's dreams, your family's dreams. And you're not going to worry about the other people. Because, see, when we lose sight of who we are and what we stand for, our integrity slippage gets completely out of control and we find ourselves doing and saying things that we cannot walk back.

There's zero chance if you don't stand for something, there is zero chance that your thoughts, beliefs, your actions, your values and behaviors are all going to be in a line. They're not. It's just not going to happen. Okay? And I think you have to get really intentional about what you stand for personally as well as professionally, and be willing to take a stand and make sure what you stand for is right. Make sure it serves people, doesn't just serve you. Okay? Speaking of which, I want to issue another challenge today. And this is something that very early on in the pandemic that I sent on my list and the response I received was amazing. And I do this once every two weeks. I refer back to this assignment, so to speak, that I gave my list, my VIP list.

Again, if you want to be on that list, edemolitorgroup.com just request it. You're on there. Okay, but here's what I said. I said pick one of those questions and move on it right away. And I mean today. I do not care what day of the week it is or what's on your plate. Number one, who can I reach out to and share information with today? Who can I reach out to and share information with today? And I'm not talking about the town gossip, right, that there's a police car at your neighbor's house down the street last night. Did you hear that? Just thought you might want to know. No, I'm talking about in your profession, who can you share info with? Who can you share best practices with and learn something from and add value to?

Or number two, who can you reach out to and help today? We all know someone that's struggling. If you hit the brakes in your own world right now, just for a minute, just for 10 minutes, think about the difference that would make. I got a text message from a good friend of mine who's a college coach, okay? Very, very, very successful college coach. I mean, his life is 100 miles an hour and I was sitting at my desk and this text pops up and I hadn't talked to him in a couple weeks. Normally we talk every two, three weeks, except during the season we might go. Might talk sooner. But anyhow, the words he typed and took the time to type for no reason, none at all, meant the world to me and I told him so. Bizarre, right?

But he just took the time to reach out and wasn't even helping, even though it did. Just to let me know the respect and what he thought and how much he cared and appreciated our friendship and our brotherhood. But who can you reach out to and help today? Now here's the last one. And I love, I absolutely love this. What can you do today to help your team? And if you want, you can insert your families, friends, neighbors, etc. Anybody? Okay, but what can you do today to help your team that isn't required, isn't expected and will not be forgotten? Think about the power of that. Okay, I actually just spoke that the text message I got. But what can you do today to help your team that isn't required, isn't expected, and will not be forgotten?

I mentioned earlier, I'm going to share with you something I was going to do a whole other solo cast on this. And I might still and I might, I just take a deeper dive. But I want to give you as much as I possibly can today. And I have noticed eight things that have shown up on every podcast, the conversations I've had, the work that I've done with my clients, whether it's my one one leadership performance, executive coaching, or my group coaching, or my presentations, whatever it is. This is the focus of the ones who are separating themselves from those paying lip service to doing things the right way. Number one, take the time to build deeper relationships. Keys to success. Right now, vulnerability is so key.

Here is people want to talk, they want to share, and they want to know they're not alone. How can you help? Who can you help? And it is not about having all the answers, but it's about listening and allowing others to work through some things. Now you're going to think to yourself, well, if I listen and I help them work through some things and they get to the answer themselves, have I, in essence, really helped them? You actually have. That's at the core. That's at the heart of what I do as an executive coach. Don't call me to solve your problems. Don't reach out to me to clean up your mess.

What I do is ask the right questions at the right time in the right way to facilitate your thinking, your thought process, and to help you work through situations and come up with the answer yourself. Because then you own the process. And then next time that situation arises, the next time that opportunity presents itself, you can come up with that solution. Answer yourself. And you don't need to pick up the phone or sit down. Second thing that shows up and it's so key to success right now, Recognize those who are invaluable. Who has stepped up in your world, whether it be in your family, in your business. Who has stepped up in your world through this time of adversity? Again, something I just mentioned. Number three, share information.

And I'm not talking about collaborating with your team, even though you know, obviously you want to do that. I mean, share information with other leaders. Share best practices. What are they doing that could help you and your organization, and what are you doing that can help them? This is something that I loved to do. One of the things, one of the many things I miss about coaching basketball is I love going to coaches clinics and sitting with guys at dinner, at breakfast, or at the bar, or on the shuttle from the airport to the hotel or to the hotel to the airport, listening to speakers and just sharing notes. And here's how we do things. Or how do you do this? I just, I missed that. Here's the other one. I mentioned this earlier, the fourth one. Have a balanced diet.

We pay so much attention to what we are eating. Like, everyone's talking about, oh, you know, I got the COVID 20 that I gained, right? Hey, what are you feeding your mind on a daily basis? Okay. What are you feeding your mind on a daily basis? It's a good question, isn't it? Pay attention to what you're watching and listening to and be intentional about filling your mind with positive thoughts, creative ideas, and gratitude. I've talked often about my gratitude Journal gratitude absolutely drives your positivity. Okay. And be agile. It is critical to be fluid and open to change as there's new information coming out every day. And some days there is new information coming out every hour. And the next one, the next bullet is something I love.

It comes from my coaching days and my playing days is be quick, but don't be in a hurry. I love saying this to kids now. They look at me like I got 10 holes in my head. Which I mean, but be quick, don't be in a hurry. Develop the ability to make decisions without all the information while being certain that the decision is aligned with your values, beliefs and mission. Perspective. We have talked a lot about perspective. And finally coach them up. It's not something I really say often. I always thought it was kind of cheesy. But you know what, really just coach them up. Recently, not to timestamp this podcast, but recently there's been some amazing leaders who have passed away. John Thompson for one of the head basketball coach at Georgetown.

I was not a Georgetown fan growing up, but I always admired John Thompson for what he stood for, what he did and how much he cared for his people and the impact he had on his players lives, right. And how he taught them. Not just about the game of basketball, but about life. And obviously, you know, I have a passion for that with what my dad and I have talked about on the episodes. But the best way to learn is to teach. And as leaders, I believe it's our responsibility to help our people learn this new way of working and living that we've been doing, to give them support, the proper support and guidance and still having the ability to hold them accountable into what we need to accomplish in a series of short term sprints. And that shows up again, right?

The sprints, it's so critical right now. And the ability to pivot, the ability to run your feedback loops. But coach them up. And remember, it's not about you as the leader, right? It's about your people, it's about your family, it's about your friends, it's about your coworkers, it's about your peers. It's about your mentor and your mentees. But as a coach them up. And remember that people want three things. They want to be valued. They want to know that they mean something. Number two, they want to know that the work they do is important and it's meaningful. And three, command and control is gone. They want to be coached. And you think about what makes athletic coaches so special.

You wonder why I talk about in athletics, even though it's a microcosm of life, the highs are higher and the lows are lower and why it prepares you so well for life. And the reason coaches are so special. The successful ones, the ones that do it for the right reasons, the ones that are transformational, not transactional, are because they go through your tough times with you and they get you to believe in yourself. They inspire you and get you to do things that maybe you didn't think you were capable of doing.

And think of your people in your world right now and how they're struggling or how they're embracing the challenge or where they could use help, where they could use support, where they could use a kick in the ass, where they could use a hug, where they could use your empathy, maybe you need to tell them you care just a little bit more. Think about how that shows up in your world right now and have the proper perspective, right? Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Just exude positivity along with being realistic. Understand what's in front of us and communicate it to all your stakeholders. Stay connected and be vulnerable. Continue to build that trust. That's what's so significant.

If you do all those things, if you do all those things, when you get to the other side of all this nonsense we're dealing with, you're going to realize you made the most of a very unique opportunity, a history making opportunity, and you're going to better for it. And if you're sitting there listening to me right now saying, man, I haven't done my part, I haven't gone in all in on this, it's not too late. We all know there's two times to plant a tree, right? If you're hot, you need shade. There's two times to plant a tree 30 years ago or second best time is today. I mean, we've heard that probably too many times, but it's the truth. If you haven't gone all in on this, start today. If you struggle with it, give yourself grace. It is a struggle right now.

It is real right now. But there's so much here. Pay attention to the ones that are succeeding. Listen to their stories. They all have something in common and that's it. At some point along the way, they have absolutely failed miserably. Picked themselves up off the ground, dusted themselves off, figured it out. Figured it out. Okay. So hey, I hope you enjoyed this solo cast a little bit longer than I anticipated, but have a great day. Share this Please share this Go ahead to our itunes and download some other episodes, some other podcast episodes. There's some great ones on there. Again, we got number 100 coming up. It's going to be special. I appreciate listening to this episode number 97. I mean, seriously, how in the world do we get to episode number 97? And thank you.

We have so many loyal listeners, so many folks downloaded. I believe it's over 42 countries right now that we're being listened to. We're just having a lot of fun. Okay. Keep doing great things.

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