In 2008, Bonner Paddock summited Mount Kilimanjaro, the world’s tallest freestanding mountain. Four years later, he earned the elite triathlete title, Kona Ironman. Thousands have done each individually. Bonner is the first person with cerebral palsy to do both.
When Bonner was born, his umbilical cord had coiled twice around his neck, depriving him of oxygen, causing parts of his brain to die. That cord didn’t take his life, but it changed it forever.
Diagnosed in his youth, Bonner swore he wouldn’t let this neurological disorder limit him, and for twenty-nine years he guarded the truth about his health. But the sudden death of a friend’s young son who also suffered from CP forced Bonner to re-evaluate his life. No longer would he be content striving for normal. Instead, he would live life to its fullest, pursuing one breathtaking experience at a time—while raising money for special needs children along the way—and never turn down a challenge for fear of his physical limitations.
His monumental climb up Mt. Kilimanjaro was documented in the film Beyond Limits and helped raise money for the construction of a new childcare center in Orange County, providing early treatment for children with all types of physical disabilities. Bonner took his vision global and has been building more centers around the world to help children live better lives. When he completed the Kona Ironman… which is 140 miles of racing…. in 16 1/2 hours, he raised over $560,000 for special needs children.
His is a remarkable journey that has taken him across the globe and introduced him to a fascinating cast of characters who have supported his inspiring quest. An athlete, adventurer, and philanthropist, Bonner is today no longer defined by his limits, but by the moments that pushed him past them. One More Step shows us that we can all conquer our own challenges and embrace every moment life has to offer.
Welcome to the Athletics of Business, a podcast about how the traits and behaviors of elite athletes and remarkable business leaders frequently intersect. The real stories and hard lessons to help you level up your leadership and performance.
Now, your host, Ed Molitor. Hey, this is just like the introduction set the Athletics of Business podcast. And I am your host, Ed Molitor. And I could not be more thrilled to bring you today's special guest, Bonner Wren. Now, if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, which I'm sure you have, you know that I believe people are put into your lives at certain times for a specific reason. And coincidentally, when Bonner and I first got connected, I soon realized that he was put into my life at the most perfect time. And it wasn't just because I was training for a half ironman. There's a variety of reasons. But as you listen to this podcast, and by the way, this is part one of a two part podcast episode with Bonner.
But as you listen to these episodes, you realize that Bonner has been put into thousands of people's lives at the right time for a certain reason. But what's really cool, I mean, there's so many cool things about Bonner, but what's really cool and inspiring is how he draws strength from the people that were put into his life as a result of his response to certain circumstances in his world, in the hand that life dealt him. Now, let me tell you a little bit about Bonner. In 2008, he summited Mount Kilimanjaro, the world's tallest freestanding mountain. And then just four years later, he earned the elite triathlete title, Kona Ironman. Amazing accomplishments in their own right, and, you know, thousands have done each individually, but Bonner is the first person with cerebral palsy to do both.
See, when he was born, his umbilical cord had coiled twice around his neck, which deprived him of oxygen and caused parts of his brains to die. Now, that cord did not take his life, but it changed it forever when he's diagnosed. In his youth, Bonner swore he wouldn't let this neurological disorder limit him. And for 29 years, he guarded the truth about his health. And we really dive into that a lot during this conversation, how hard that was. Not just in his childhood, but later in his adult life and where that showed up and when it showed up unexpectedly. And this podcast episode is for absolutely everyone because we've all gone through or going through something physically, emotionally, mentally. Well, anyways, let me get back to Bonner. So no longer would he be content striving for normal.
Instead, he would live life to its fullest, pursuing one breathtaking experience at a time, all the while raising money for special needs children along the way. And never turned down a challenge for a fear of his physical limitations. His monumental climb up Mount Kilimanjaro was documented in the film Beyond Limits and helped raise money for the construction of a new child care center in Orange county, providing early treatment for children with all types of physical disabilities. Soon, Bonner took his vision globally and he has been building more centers around the world to help children live better lives. Now, when he competed and completed the Kona Ironman, which, if you're not familiar with what an Ironman is a 2.4 mile swim, he was 112 mile bike. And then, you know, let's do a marathon after that, right? 26.2 mile run.
He completed it in 16 and a half hours. And he raised over $560,000 for special needs children. His is a remarkable journey which has taken him across the globe and introduced him to a fascinating cast of characters who have supported his inspiring quest. And we talked quite a bit about the fascinating cast of characters. An athlete, adventurer and philanthropist, Bonner is today no longer defined by his limits, but by the moments that pushed him past them. Again, there is so much here. There is so much in this podcast episode. I can't wait for you to listen to it. And one of the things that Bonner really dives into, and it's kind of the overarching theme of everything he does in this conversation, is that physical wounds heal a lot faster than mental wounds. And living beyond limits is living with the mental wounds.
So I'm going to get out of the way and let you enjoy this conversation that I had. And again, part one of a two part podcast episode with Bon Arin Bonner. Thank you so much for joining us today on the Athletics of Business podcast. I am beyond humbled to have you here today.
Thanks for having me on, Ed.
Well, you know, we connected a few weeks ago. A great introduction by our friend J.J. gotch. And when we connected, I was blown away by our conversation. And then after our conversation, I picked up your book, One More Step, my story of living with cerebral palsy, Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro and surviving the hardest Race on Earth, which was published in March 2015. And like I told you, I was on a family vacation. I could not put the book down because I'm absolutely blown away by your story, by the way you do things, what you have accomplished and not just what you accomplished with your foundation, but what you've been able to overcome physically, emotionally, and everything. So I can't wait to just jump into things here with you today.
Thank you. I appreciate that. Nice lead in.
Well, let's talk a little bit about your story and I guess we could pick it up when, you know, start when you were working for the Ducks and how your childhood and your high school and college years led into that and some of the things that you were dealing with, and then we'll take it from there.
Sounds good. Yeah. No, when I was working for the Anaheim Ducks, it was actually during the lockout of 04.05 is when I got the job there to head up the corporate partnerships division. And during the lockout, our owner, Henry Samueli, got up on stage when he would have these breakfast updates for everybody. And he just kind of shared what was going on and the latest of the negotiations and everything. And then he just said, during these times, it's a great opportunity with more free time to get out and support the community and join a charity that you're passionate about. And so I was a new employee, so I was just fired up on that and was like super excited to be here. And it was the first time I had ever put that I have cerebral palsy on my job application and was hired.
That was a huge glass ceiling for me to break through because I thought nobody would hire me if I put that I had CP on it. So I was like, wow, they hired me because I have cp. This is my opportunity. And so, yeah, I joined a local charity here in Orange County, California, and. And really started to negotiate those waters of a 29 year secret per se, that less than probably 20 or 25 people knew that I had CP. So it wasn't like this super raw forward. I'm going to tell everybody I have CP because I was super scared that I didn't really know what it was. We didn't know how to really answer questions yet. Was so excited to kind of begin that part, to be part of an organization and everything that supported me as per se, I thought I was.
And so that was a huge moment with the Ducks. And when coming. Growing up with a secret, you know, I began to think that I was defective or there was something wrong with me as we're not talking about it. I go to these physical therapy appointments, I was. Went to all these doctors, all of these things. My childhood was extremely difficult to really say, I know who I am, I know what's going on and got teased the way I walked. And so you had all of these things that kind of were compounding that I'm not worthy. I'm not good enough. And it drove me, fortunately, to try to be as normal as possible. And that helped in the business sense. But physically, I was like, I don't really want to talk about what I have, you know.
You know, it's my skeleton in the closet, per se. And I was really worried about how the business world would think of me and embrace me or not. And so I kept a secret all the way till my job with the ducks when I was there at 29 years old. So that kind of springboarded that talk and conversation with the local charity and meeting Jakey's dad, who was the boy that inspired me to do these physical feats, and his dad was already on the board of this local charity here. And so that's where kind of I. He helped me identify and embraced me for who I was and just really took me, you know, by surprise that, you know, these people actually care. And I. And then he sent me an email that said, I inspire him to. For the.
Getting the best care and everything for his son, to hopefully his son will be, you know, the best possible he. He can be. So that hit me in a spot where I grew up in a family that got divorced, and dad was not around a lot and not really emotionally available. And then my mom was trying to do both sides of parenting, and she was more of a. In a critical space and in a tough spot. And so a lot of that got projected onto us kids. And so that put it in a spot where you're like, wow, okay, now. Now I have people accepting me for who I am. I'm getting love and attention for something that I thought was per se, defective. And all of a sudden, it's this empowering thing that starts coming out of my body.
For 30 years, it's been pushed down, and it goes everywhere, and I had no idea what to do with it. And it was completely like fireworks shooting off everywhere. And it's just this emotional roller coaster that just sent me on for that for most of my 30s, was. It let out a lot of anger, it let out a lot of frustration, it let out a lot of joy, it let out a lot of fear, everything. Because I was like, are people gonna now individually judge me? Not just, you know, in the business world? Because it's out. The cat's out of the bag, per se. So it sent me on an Interesting. My 30s were, you know, good in some ways, but scary in many ways, because I was trying to understand who I was as a person. All these emotions coming up.
Yet I'm getting the acknowledgement that I always wanted. I'm getting the recognition that I always crave, the attention that I always wanted. And I have a group of people embracing me for who I technically am physically and with my cp. And that was just an area that obviously did not exist at all growing up. And so it just fueled this fire with the sudden passing of Jakey that it just was like, wow, I think I've found my purpose. But again, when you think when people find their purpose or their passion, we don't know which way to turn. And there's about 9 million ways you can turn. So I felt like looking back, I felt like, wow, I just tried to go 9 million different ways at once. And that was basically my 30s. And that's a really hard way to try to stretch yourself.
So I went from trying to not let people know about anything about me to, all of a sudden, the world knows about me, per se, and trying to appease and stay and be liked by everybody. Because all of a sudden, everybody was interested. Most people, I wouldn't say, obviously everyone. But in general, it felt like, wow, there's a whole ton of people that are interested. And that just fed all of the wounds and traumas from my childhood that I desperately wanted, but again, did not know how to work those in and did not know how to help myself guide myself through those navigating waters that can be really tumultuous with all those feelings coming up.
Yeah, absolutely. And let's go back real quick, if we can, to Jakey and to his dad. And you go from speaking to the group, and then you ran a half marathon with Jakey's dad, Steven. And can you take us through that rigorous training schedule? You have half of that half for that half marathon. How that worked out for you, how that turned out, but more importantly, tell us that day literally changed your life forever. I thought you'd enjoy the comment about the reader's training schedule.
Those two runs that I did leading up to a half marathon, I mean, it shows that mindset of two. Oh, I'm just gonna do two small runs leading up to a half marathon. And this is. Even if I had, per se, normal legs.
Exactly. What's 13? Yeah. What's 13 miles? Yeah.
No big deal. I mean, it just shows kind of the naivety or the ignorance that had back then of really what I had and that and the lack of understanding of even what I had. But I was so excited again to be part of this organization, to be part of a family, that it was embracing me. And so it was just like, oh, yeah, I'll do half. A lot of people on the board are doing a half, at least. And yeah, sure, that sounds awesome. I'm in. You know, it's just kind of that let's go attitude was like, I can do it, you know, and it's just so.
I mean, it wasn't like you sat on the sidelines your whole life, you know, either. For our listeners, I need to point out, I mean, you played baseball, you practice, you played soccer, you were. You were active, you tried in again, but you really never sat down and said, hey, here's a situation, Bonner, and here's the challenges. I mean, it was not. It literally was not talked about in your household.
Yeah. With that not talking about it and not getting the, you know, the attention or the needs that I felt like I really needed and wanted. Sports was the only thing that I got recognition from my, you know, parents, because they'd come to the games even divorced and stuff like that. It was the only thing that broke, per se, quote unquote. Our family together was sports. My oldest brother Mike was an insanely good water polo and swimmer, so he was an all American in that. So it was like these things turned in. And I saw that in my oldest brother and was like, okay, I have to be good at something in sports is where I seem to be. And a goalie in soccer, I don't have to run that much.
So with my legs the way they are, and I have really good eye hand coordination, great instincts, great reaction, all of those things. I just. And then I was a great shooter and basketball is great. I couldn't play defense, but, man, if they fed me that ball, I could drain. I won shooting contests and stuff. So it was like I would literally focus on those two sports. And then in baseball, same thing. I hand I could hit, but I couldn't be in the field. So they stuck me as catcher or pitcher. And so at the end of the day, I kind of found my niches and just focused, hyper focused on these areas as a kid growing up and ended up getting a college scholarship to a small university for soccer, you know, but it was like, agreed.
I just focused on the one area where I could get acknowledgement, I could get the praise, I could get those things. And sports was 100% my outlet growing up to show that I am actually worthy of something.
And now fast forward. You are going to put on display, you know, your love of sports by running the half marathon with that rigorous training. But take us through that day. This is. This is so powerful. It is so, you know, and it is so. It is so emotional. And I'm telling you, this is one of. When I. When I sat down and read this part of the book, I read it, I reread it, and my kids are, you know, Maddie's 8 and EJ's about to be 6. But I literally sat them down and explained the story to him. And it was a moment, right. So I can't wait to hear the story right there.
Just telling that story that you told to your kids, you know, makes the book worth of just pouring my heart and soul out onto the pages. Yeah. That singular day was probably the greatest, most impactful day of my entire life because Steve, Jakey's dad and I obviously started the race off together because we both agreed we're turtles. So we're going to just go ahead and bring up the back of the race. And he's doing the full. So I figured his full pace was going to be the same as my half marathon pace and that course, the half and the full go all the way to about eight and a half miles together.
And although we had a great connection and it was just more, I think, my lack of a father figure in that time, I just stuck right to him immediately when he complimented me and said, I give him, I'm inspiring for his family. We just had that bond. And even though we didn't spend that much time together leading up to that race, we just started the race together. We spent the first eight and a half miles. And Steve has this great personality that by eight and a half mile marker, he had convinced me that, hey, it's just come with me on the full marathon course. And we have the water station, the local charity was at mile 16.
So he convinced me somehow, of course, that I am going to be okay enough with my rigorous training to somehow make it to Mile 16 water station. But I was again, I was so, like, you know, attached to him and just crave so much of everything about him as a. As a male figure, as his son going CP because all the questions he was asking me about because his son can't walk or talk and had a very severe case of cp. His questions to me that day were just insanely resonating in me because they're all the things that I had thought of but never talked to anybody about. And he just wanted to know how my legs felt and how all these things. Cause he goes, I can probably imagine that these are things that Jakey's feeling and thinking.
And he was having trouble bonding with his son because his other sons were, quote, unquote, normal and very athletic. And he said he. You know, he was really struggling with it, but I didn't learn that till later. But he was very inquisitive because he was really trying to connect with his son. And it just made me so amazingly connected. That, wow. Somebody that just for being honest about who I am and sharing the things that I have, it can be a beacon for anybody. And to be out on a race course and to have that really struggling, physical day with somebody, and then watching him finish the marathon and carrying Jakey across the finish line, it was like, man, I was crying like a baby.
And to know that day preceded Jakie dying that night, you're just like, oh, my gosh, this is the most incredible gift that I got. To spend the last day of Jakey's life with his dad, talking about him, about his hopes and dreams of Jakey and being able to be that kind of connector to them. It was amazing. And then just devastating. Getting that call the next day. I mean, there was no way to ever prepare, and I wasn't even emotionally strong at that time. It was fascinating that was the gift that I got, was to spend so many hours with his dad on the last day and that to be there to witness all their family together at the finish line. And I can't ever explain, like, what a magical day that was and how it set me off on this journey from there.
And I can't even begin to comprehend, you know, the feeling the next morning when you got the phone call. I mean, first of all, and you describe it in the book, physically, you're just. You're beat, right? I mean, you're just beaten. And you get that phone call, and you pick that up, and you go from being this emotional, you know, high, this. This incredible feeling like, I connected. Cause you talk about how you connected when you guys locked eyes, you connected with Jakey. And then to know that's happened, but really, that's where the journey just started. And so from there, take us from what happened after that and how in the world you found yourself climbing up Mount Kilimanjaro.
Yeah, that call that morning, I was. Yeah, I called in sick to work to the ducks. I couldn't even move. I was stiff as a. I hurt everywhere physically. And then I Got a call from the executive director of the local charity and he had to break the news to me. And I just cried and cried. And probably I haven't cried like that probably in forever, if not a very long time. And I just sat there and I had no idea what to do because I'm stiff as a board. I couldn't go anywhere. And it was just stuck with all these emotions that I didn't like feeling. And so I quickly took that and tried to figure out, wow, well, I know what I'm going to do next year's marathon. I'm going to do the full marathon, same race to honor Jakey.
That's a given. I don't care what I feel like now, I'm going to do the full marathon in his honor. And when I told that to the executive director, it was like, wow, that's an amazing idea. And the outpouring of support from, even from our general manager on the hockey team made a donation. The Ducks, you know, everybody, like just embrace this whole entire thing. And it just set me off on that journey. That said, wow, I've been given two gifts that Jakey wasn't. One of them was I was given the gift of my physical abilities versus what he was given. And I was also given a gift more than days that past four and a half years old. You know, I was now 30 years, 29, 30 years old at the time.
And it was hard to understand and there was a lot of survivor's guilt that came with that, which is fascinating thing to really come about. But it set me off on that thing to chase all of the things that I really wanted in now a positive, inspiring child and family that supported and loved me from pretty much day one. And it's a powerful mix and combination of emotions that propelled me to do the full marathon the following year. And we raised like $30,000, I think. And then I was like, okay, this is kind of what I think I'm supposed to be doing. And this is my purpose, is to go out and do physical feats and inspire people that can't or inspire people to move past their limitations.
Hey, this is Ed. And I know you are enjoying this wonderful conversation with Bonner and you're probably wondering where you can learn more about the One Man, One Mission foundation and as well as lifted up and supported. So I thought I'd share some information with you on the OMF mission, vision and values as well as a website to go to. The vision of the OMF is to empower children with disabilities and their families to live life beyond limits. The mission is to raise awareness and support centers that provide services to empower children with disabilities and their families to live life beyond limits in their communities and their values. All children with disabilities should receive the services and support needed to build a better life and move beyond the limits of their circumstances.
Everyone is able to make a difference by dedicating themselves to inspiring others to go beyond their limits. Their goal is that all funds raised by OMF are allocated to its charitable purpose. You know where every single dollar is going. The foundation subscribes to productive partnerships and relationships that embody integrity, clear purpose and passion with innovative excellence in all project outcomes. And to see this and more and to support them, go to one man, one mission.org and that's the number one man, the number one. And then mission.org and that is also in the show notes with the link to the website.
So after doing that and I got some local like recognition and everything, which was really nice.
How did you do in the marathon? And I know you all can, I know you did train though and I.
Know, I know, yeah, I did actually train on that one. That was actually like a pretty good training. But I, you know, learned my physical limitations of training because my body just can't train like regular. My recovery time and everything else just doesn't match up with regular able bodied. So I had some typical injuries that people have training for a marathon but finishing 503. So it was okay. I was hoping to break five but just didn't have it in the bag.
And here's why I asked that. And the reason I asked is because we'll talk when we get to the cone of Ironman. We'll talk about what your time you had to do the marathon in right after the bike ride, after the swim. I'm just thinking, I'm sitting here reading the book. I'm thinking if I was standing at the finish line and Bonner came across here in this marathon, this first physical fear, this amazing journey he's on. And I said, bonnie, you're one day you're going to do this and you're going to do this. I'm just wondering what you would have said.
I would have told you're crazy as hell and there's no chance I'm ever doing that.
But anyways, the story keeps going. So go ahead. I'm sorry to interrupt.
Oh yeah, no, yeah. So after doing the marathon and you know, recovering a little bit and just was like, okay, like I can, you know, I Think physical feats are going to be something that I can focus on.
It's sports.
It's something that it's been my kind of wheelhouse of area that I can do well. And so I thought about it and came up with Mount Kilimanjaro and was like, okay, that looks like an insanely crazy feat for my abilities and will really push me. And it's in things that I don't really enjoy or don't really have much knowledge about, which is, you know, hiking and climbing, camping for long periods of time like that on, you know, really isolated mountains halfway around the world. So I was like, nope, I don't have any of those things. I don't really enjoy those things. So let's go. After all the things that I don't enjoy is what I kind of started going with. It was like, I don't enjoy any of that stuff. Those things really make my body hurt.
So I don't have an equilibrium, per se. I guess that's, you know, technically I do, but just the lack of control of my legs and everything. I always say it's just explain to people that it's like not having an equilibrium or extremely Just challenging balance issues. So I'm like, this is going to push me in a different pattern to. And so I chose Kilimanjaro and was like, okay, I'm going to attempt to be the first person with CP to do it, you know, unassisted, which is meaning I have to take every step. I have to take every, you know, whatever it is, Crawl, walk. Everything had to be under my own power. So, yeah, that was the first world record attempt that I did.
So, you know, you don't just all of a sudden wake up one day go out there and decide you're going to do it. Tell us a little bit about the team that you built and how intentional you were about the folks you surrounded yourself with for that team because you had a cast of characters.
The team was hilarious in Kilimanjaro because I went about it a little bit different. I think people may always want the all star squad of, like, the baddest ass people on the planet that they show up. And I went a little bit different route because I knew, sadly, I was gonna. I don't know that saying back then, but if I could define it now, I call it embrace the suck. And so I knew it was gonna suck. I knew everything about it because it's not stuff I enjoyed or really was comfortable with. So I obviously had two. I had one guy that I knew real well, who was an ex airborne army ranger. And so he's a mountain climber and everything that lived in Utah and everything. I was like, this guy's the Billy Badass of everybody.
No brainer.
I'm like, yep, no brainer. Get him. I said, if shit got bad, he's going to be the guy that is going to put me over his shoulder and somehow get me down the mountain. Paul is that amazing. And then I was like, I need somebody with humor because I said, I know I'm going to be miserable on there. And when I'm miserable and grumpy at that time in my life, it's like nobod wants to be around me, including myself. So I was like, I need someone hilarious that I just think is the greatest and also has never climbed or doesn't know anything about it. So it's actually kind of a sad safety measure that I had someone in there that was just as, you know. So that brought Dilly from tech and my old mate. Yeah. And so.
And then Paul asked his buddy who's been doing Africa tours and had summited Killy a couple times. He, his buddy wanted to put the whole trip together. So I made Tim our team leader. This guy is just an absolute beast as well. And then I wanted someone with medical experience so that if there was anything that day to day that I needed. So I got a nurse. Paul helped me get a nurse practitioner named Shirley that we call Turtle. That's her name, not ours. And she was amazing. And then we had the three documentary filmmakers and then we had a last minute guy back out. So then Paul asked if his buddy could come along as well. So that rounded out our fearsome 10. And we just joked and we had all these handshakes and we taught the guides and the porters uno.
And we brought another card deck. I mean, we just. Yeah, so we did all these things. It was just, we, everybody looked at us. We were the Bad News Bears. I mean, it was hilarious. It was like we had a couple unbelievable natural talents. But then you just looked at everybody else and you're just like, these cast of characters are just. I don't even know what to think of them. And it actually truly made the difference of getting to the top or not.
Well, and it had to be something that made it even more special, right? Once you get to the top.
Yeah, it made it because these people I knew most of them. And so there was just like this bond and this thing that, you know, there was this general caringness and support, where, you know, people can do that even if you don't know them real well. But just the energy was different because there was some background and some great stories, and so we could share a lot of those things through our tough times. And they'd already proven to me that, you know, they were people that really cared about me and knew how I was so they could get good reads on me. Because back then when I was not doing well, I would shut down or stonewall. So I would just put up this great facade that, you know, I'm just going to be super quiet in this iron face.
And then I just put my head down and go.
And, you know, we have touch on the fact that, you know, Mount Kilimanjaro. It is a physical, emotional struggle, but it's beyond a struggle. I mean, it's actually, it's. You are putting your life in danger. I mean, there is times where you talk about if you took a step in, you know, backwards or a step to the side, it wasn't going to be a good ending. And so you had that to deal with, too.
Yeah, I totally agree. And the one that really scared the, you know what out of me was the Barranco Wall. For me, with my abilities and struggles and challenges, the Bronco Wall pretty much isolates almost all of them. And it's not day one, you know, it was day, I think four or five. And it was just. I looked at this thing, and I also really didn't understand what it was going into the climb. That's a. That was an old characteristic of me, is I don't really want to kind of know everything. Sometimes it's better for me just to show up and do it. It was just the block that I had.
And so I was just like, it almost costs me in that thing because it was in our whole guide that Tim had sent us, and I had blocked it out, and those things are nasty. And then at night, doing the summit at night, I use my eyes for balance. So to do something in the pitch black, per se, you just have your miner's light on, and you're basically, you're out there, and we happen to have a really windy, cold night. And so you add those things with really tight muscles, not good balance at all. And needing to utilize my eyes for balance. I just had my walking poles, my hiking poles, and that was about it. And so that puts me in as about scary as predicament is with what I have as possible.
That's amazing. So you get to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro. And that feeling. Can you describe that feeling then? What I want to jump into, obviously, is talk about what that opened up, because that really kind of opened up Pandora's Box for you, right?
Yeah, for sure. Like, I got to the top, and it was very hazy. Obviously, I was having a really bad trouble that summit attempt. And so I'd run out of water, and it was so cold that everything froze. And again, I didn't know the tricks to keep things warm, and I didn't ask. That was very common of me, is just not asking. And I was able to get to the top, and we're all there. And I do remember that when I was able to just kind of rest for a little bit, and then so much so that I was so hyper focused on getting to the top, which is the story of my life at that juncture, was I didn't even think about going down.
And what I remember afterwards and what Tim was saying, he's like, oh, yeah, most people that die on Everest, it's on the way down. So people get so hyper focused in these moments. And I say, well, that seems to happen a lot in life, too, where we get to a point that exhausts all of our energy, and then we forget that the journey actually has to continue. And it actually is super debilitating, both physically and mentally. Where the point is that I was like, to the point after having great euphoria for, let's call it five minutes, they're trying to get me off the mountain, the top of the mountain. Because the challenges and what I was showing them symptoms, they were like, we got to get him down. Like, he needs to get down off this high summit.
So as I do, I started throwing myself down the scree hill and just, I mean, like, I literally almost had an odd moment of losing understanding of truly my decisions. And what I was trying to do because everybody said to live and survive is I got to get down as fast as possible and my legs weren'. So therefore, I got creative and was like, well, I got huge padded jackets and really insulated everything. So I started throwing myself down the giant scree hill, mountain parse side. And it was just like, nobody could keep up with me. The guides, nobody. I just kept floating all the way down and just kind of sliding down, doing Pete roses all the way down, but on my back. And so I was like, well, I got my hood on. I got everything else on. There's no rocks.
It's just scree. That's what I did.
Yeah. And you get down and you think, oh, my God, this amazing accomplishment. I am. This is it. I can't. This is exactly what you think. You'd be very happy, very fulfilled. And what transpired in the following months?
Yeah, literally after the shiny part shininess of the summit attempt wore off, which was about a couple days, this, all of a sudden, this emptiness and darkness started coming and to the forefront. And I couldn't stop it. And I didn't understand because I literally sadly thought that there was going to be a magic pill at the top of the mountain, that I'm doing this to help others. We raised over a quarter million dollars for other people. Everybody paid their own way. Like, we couldn't have done it with any more integrity and honesty and wow, we're helping other people. I should have some type of magic pill for that to make me happy. And instead it just magnified the part of me that was empty. And it opened Pandora's box, like you said, for the next year, of depression, of no idea who I was.
Because this actually put a huge curveball into my goals of, oh, I'll just keep doing these things and this is what's going to bring me happiness and I'm going to have joy and love and everything in my life. And it did none of those long term. And I was like, oh, man, it just freaked me out. It scared me. It was like, what do I do now to achieve. That's what I thought back then, to achieve happiness and joy and like this love that I felt very. For short moments doing all of these physical achievements.
So you physically, you had to recover, and it took you quite a while to recover. And now we're going to get into the part of the story that's just so. So fascinating is you talk about, I read and I heard you say physical wounds heal a lot faster than mental wounds. And living beyond limits is living with the mental wounds. And this is where this really start. Starts to happen as you heal up physically over the course of the next year or two. So what was the next step in the journey? How did all that, the next decision come about?
Yeah, the. It's totally true. And that's after the year pretty much, I would say, pretty large depression, I started to start feeling better physically. And so the physical wounds started healing from Kilimanjaro. Yet the mental part, that this emptiness still sat inside me. And so I could no longer say, hey, wow, I guess I'm just physically drained. That's why I'm mentally Empty. And all of a sudden, when I started becoming not physically drained anymore and started having the physical and wanted to work out again and stuff like that, the mental side was still per se in that space was growing and just was more impeding in every other part of my life. And so I was like, I have no idea where this darkness is coming from.
And I'm around the guys and I get the medical clearance to, you know, begin working out and everything like that. I think about 11 months or so after Killy, and I was having lunch with the Oakley guys that had sponsored my climb and everything else and told them the good news that I'm physically there. And so I had already started thinking of my next physical feat at that time, because I was going to pour myself back into the only thing that I knew that per se gave me identity, that gave me a good feeling, that gave me, you know, like the acknowledgement, everything that I so wanted and craved. I asked the guys, well, who do you guys know in triathlons?
And my now buddy, and obviously a guy that was on my foundation board after all of this said, don't tell me you're going to do Ironman.
Yeah.
So I just said, I just want to talk to somebody. I'm going to learn. I'm not going to jump into it, like, kill me, Manjaro. I'm gonna want to just talk to somebody that's done an iron man. And his boss, Poston said he goes, you know who works at Oakley? And I was like, no, who? And he goes, greg Welch, the ironman world champion. And I was like, no. And he goes, oh, yeah. And he goes, can we have a copy of your documentary and we'll give it to him and just at least ask him if he would at least meet with you and talk about what it would take to do an iron man over, you know, And I said, I would just love that. And that's literally, again, it gave me some short term cover over that space that really felt empty.
So you had the conversation with Welchy. How'd that go?
Oh, my gosh. Yeah. He watched the documentary on a flight and he literally went back to the guy at Oakley. The guy that knew him went back to him and said, this guy really wants to do an iron man. And post he goes, yeah, he does. And he goes, I'll meet with him. This guy, he bonked on the mountain. And this guy got up somehow after bonking fully done, he goes, anybody that can get up from bonking has abilities to tap into his inner strength that Very few in the world ever can. He goes, it's something that is so rare. And so he goes, I'll definitely have lunch with him. And so I was so pumped. And so we had a lunch. And this guy is a character. Greg Welch is an absolute crazy Aussie character that I just love.
And we had a great lunch. And he scared the you know what out of me. And it was hilarious because he did that on purpose. And I just said, well, I'd like some time to think about it. And he made it clear that he wasn't going to help me. Like, he didn't have time to coach. He doesn't coach anybody. He's retired, he's focused on his Oakley career, everything else like that. And so he just said that he could definitely give little bits of information. So he did everything to basically say, if you're going to make this decision, you're making it on your own. And so I thought about it for a couple weeks. I had a couple clarifying questions and then I said, can we meet again? And so we talked and everything.
And I just said, I'd like to do it, but I can't do it by myself. And here's the reasons why. I said, I need a coach and I need an expert and everything. And I know you said you're busy and everything like that. And I said, but I would be love it if there's any way you would consider. And it would just be limited and I can do it on my own, per se. I just need the guidance and the coaching. And he just smiled and he goes, yeah. You know, I knew that because I knew I was in as soon as I met you. And it was like that. He goes, you're just a guy that you want to do something with. And so he goes, I think you're incredible and let's do it.
And so, yeah, so it's something like, again, it was, it fed that area of me that I just so was trying to understand how to better fill it long term.
And here's a really cool part is, you know, obviously the physical training, but this adventure for, you know, is exactly what it was. It brought some people back into your life that helped fill those emotional wounds. And it wasn't like, you know, it wasn't a walk in the park. It wasn't easy. But I'd love for you to talk because you and I talked about this both times. You know, we've had the opportunity to speak and, you know, our circumstances do not define us. And what does define us Is how we choose to deal with our circumstances. And it goes, like we've talked about, beyond the physical, right. The mental and the emotional. And this is where some healing began. Can we talk about that a little bit as we talk about your journey through the church?
100%. The healing and the shift within me from Kilimanjaro, including the journey to iron man race, was fascinating because I did finally identify this big, dark space. And I didn't obviously know how to fill it at the time, but it brought it to the forefront that I was like, wow, I'm really missing these things in these areas, and I don't know how to fully get them. And it's funny how like, we talked about, you know, before was like, the synchronicity of my life and my journey. Those things were actually given to me as amazing gifts that I didn't know. Like, just the timing was unbelievable, yet I didn't know that's what it was at the time. And the huge one that came out of the training for Ironman was my brother Mike, and the reconnection of his and I's relationship.
I had a lot of anger and frustration from the divorce. I had a lot of anger and frustration towards any close relationship that was family Because I felt like there was so much guilt and shame that I had that I didn't know how to process it. So I projected it on everybody. It was also, you know, I was really trying to rebuild my relationship with my dad. And so those two relationships really began to grow exponentially during the Ironman training. And it was something that I honestly never thought would per se happen because I was barely even talking to my brother. And he had a huge experience in his life. He became sober. He was an alcoholic.
And so during that training, our relationship slowly started to reconnect because he was an all American swimmer and water polo player, and he wanted to do the ocean training swims with me. And so it was just this monumental shift in our relationship that Mike and I had this opportunity to patch our relationship through the love of swimming in the ocean that our grandfather taught us. And you just look at all this dynamics of like, wow, these are amazing relationships that I so desperately wanted and missed that the connections came back in such a healthier manner. And it was much more open and freeing. And because I was talking about my cp, it allowed them to talk about their alcoholism or my dad talking about that he wasn't there.
And he felt guilty for not being there growing up and not being able to give us what he wanted it provided these platforms. And on this mega journey of the Ironman that actually gave me bigger gifts than Iron man times a million were the deepest connections that I so coveted growing up. And all the way to that point was totally missing. I got two of them back during that Ironman journey, which is priceless beyond measure. Thank you for listening to the athletics of business. Be sure to give us a rating and review so we know how we're doing. For more information about the show, visit theathleticsofbusiness.com now get out there. Think, act and execute at the highest level to unleash your greatness.