Living Beyond Limits Part II, with Bonner Paddock Rinn

Welcome to the Athletics of Business, a podcast about how the traits and behaviors of elite athletes and remarkable business leaders frequently intersect. The real stories and hard lessons to help you level up your leadership and performance. Now, your host, Ed Molitor.

Welcome back to part two of my conversation with Bonner Paddock Rin, who on episode 90, absolutely killed it. So much great content, incredible stories, valuable lessons, and we're going to pick up the conversation right where we left off. So without further ado, here's part two with Bonner.

The deepest connections that I so coveted growing up and all the way to that point was totally missing. I got two of them back during that Ironman journey, which is priceless beyond measure. I mean, there is no value in those things, honestly. And then our foundation was kicked off and running, and we had our first child that had such severe disability that we had our first child that we flew to the United States during that training as well. And to connect with Juliana from Tanzania blew my mind so many ways as well, that it was. I healed some of the past.

And then this beautiful soul that walked into our lives just absolutely, I should say, walked on our knees into our lives absolutely changed my full understanding of what wisdom is, what intelligence is, what the purpose of life is, and how to potentially start healing this darkness, emptiness in my life is she brought. And she was the one that actually lit that torch. And I thought, here I was the one healing her, helping her, and it was just the opposite for me.

It's an amazing story. Can we go back to how you first met Juliana? And really, your climb in Mount Kelly, I mean, your climb there had something to do with where you started the foundation, did it not?

Yeah, absolutely. So we asked him, our team leader that I kind of referenced briefly earlier. He. One of the requests I just had in the documentary film crew was like, hey, can we go visit some center over in Tanzania that, you know, helps disabled kids? Because Bonner is over here to climb their mountain, you know, to help kids and raise money to build a center here, back here in Orange County, California. So we would like to film Bonner. And I was like, that'd be great. I'd love to kind of see what their lives are like. And Tim calls me, honestly, like, probably three months after, like, sending emails and asking all of his guides and contacts to be like, hey, where are all these centers? And the guides and everybody were coming back.

And, like, I've asked everywhere in my city, and the other guides have been asking in their cities, and everybody's like, no idea. We can't find any. And I was just like, what? It just didn't compute. And so I was like, they finally found one that was what. It'd be our version of like a high school with late junior high as well. But it was. They teach you a skillset. And so it was a disabled school and it was called the Oosa River School. And it was amazing that they were teaching disabled kids that probably were not going to be able to per se, have a lawyer or some type of job for whatever reason. They taught them woodworking, carpentry, shoemaking, baking, and all these things. So they're like, we're going to go here. And I was like, cool.

So went there and saw these kids and they were just. It was just amazing, you know, Again, it was just like these beautiful souls that were safe in this place, and they were like more themselves than I ever have been. And it just sent me on. And I was like, wow, if I ever survived this climb, I told Dilly this and we shared a room. And I told Dilly I was like, if I survive this, I'm going to start a foundation and we're going to come back and we're going to help them. That's better than giving them a big tip. That's giving. Better than giving them our hiking boots and our jackets and everything. I said, we're going to come back and we're going to build them a center to help the disabled kids.

That's literally how my foundation idea popped in the middle of my head when were there climbing Kilimanjaro trip.

Wow. So then you come back and talk about that visit when you come back.

Yeah. So I convinced my now friend and now board member, but he was my neighbor, Dr. Afshan Aminian. And there's a funny story about him because he's the one that technically was the first person that just walked across the courtyard and was like, saw me walking to the mailbox one day and I just see this very tall man staring at me. And I'm like, this is awkward because I was so sensitive. I was so sensitive of that stuff because I got teased. So I was like, okay, I'm really sensitive when people watched me back then. And I was like, and he walks right over and he doesn't have the two foot space. So he walked right over to me and he goes, you have. He goes, you have cp. And I just looked at him in horror because I was like, oh, my gosh.

I still had that, even though I just began talking about it and was getting ready for the killy climb at the time. And that was Dr. Minion. Turns out again, these amazing synchronicities. He's like, what's all the stuff in the garage? And we started talking about Kilimanjaro and everything. He's like, this is incredible and everything else. And so I just said, I've never had a formal examination of this stuff, like in detail with me as an adult. I've always avoided them after keeping it a secret for so long. So it's time to do it. Can we do it on camera? And so he volunteered. He was like, absolutely, come into my office. And so he and I started this friendship and bond because he's the one that told me what specific CP I had, what's the challenges that I have, all these things.

He did all this stuff for free. And he was just this kind man. He was an Iranian immigrant and he had put himself through Northwestern Medical School and everything. And now he was one of the best in the world. And so I convinced him to be part of the foundation. And I said, our first trip we need to go over. And I found a place that's going to help us find a bunch of disabled kids that need a therapy center. And so went back over for a 49 hour trip because he had to be back. So we flew 52 hours round trip to Tanzania for 49 hours of examinations. And the first morning after the evening we flew in the first morning there was a line of people that had come and had slept, come from all parts of Tanzania.

And so we're like, okay, we wake up, we had breakfast and we're like, let's just start the examinations. And I obviously was just watching, I don't know anything about it. And Dr. Minion had just this amazing kindness and everything. And the probably second or third girl that walked up, she was carried by her dad. And then he sets her down and she walks on her knees and she had this beautiful brand new dress. And I was like, it's not computing where her dad looks like he's worn the same outfit for the last 10 years. It looks like moths have eaten it. And she has this beautiful dress on and I just don't even understand what's going on. And she's walking but you can't see her legs. And I'm like, I just don't.

And he lifts up her dress a little bit and you see these legs. And I was just like, oh, wow. And I just, I didn't know what to say. And it was so uncomfortable for me to See this? And then it was like she was so unsure. And Dr. Minion was just like giving an examination and were all there and it was outdoors because they don't have exam rooms or anything. So we're just outside and there's all these teachers around and she's really shy. And Dr. Minion just says, this one we're gonna have to bring to the United States. And this girl has something that her infection rate would be insane here. So it was the first and only person we've ever flown to the United States.

It was that severe double amputation surgery because she had walked her entire 15, 16 year life on her knees. And we just. I just cried. I just cried in front of her because I could not understand and compute that this person survived this long. And here she was in front of us. It just didn't work in my brain. It just couldn't. So I just broke down and cried.

And what was it? When they lifted up the dress, did she have a foot coming out the back of her leg?

Yeah, she had one foot that was completely underdeveloped, like really underdeveloped that looked like probably like maybe a six month old foot. She's probably 15 or 16 years old. It was coming out of her hamstring. And then on her other leg she had a fully, not fully developed, but a more longer, normal, we'll call it more normal leg on the other side. But her ankle looked like it had been totally broken with a 90 degree. But that's just how she was born. And so neither one, obviously she could walk on. She had no prosthetics or anything. So she was forced to learn how to walk on her knees so that she can get around.

So you brought her over to the United States when she came over to the United States, that was while you were training, correct?

Yeah, so it took us about. She had no birth certificate. We didn't know how old she was. We literally had to get the father and they're in this remote region. And she stayed at the facility that we met her at. So she stayed there and the father went home. And so we had to work with the father and everything and get him to the government offices that needed. It took over a year and a half. And so, yeah, by the time she came over, I was knee deep in the Ironman and towards the end of the Ironman and I got to. We flew her in and everything. And she stayed at the Ronald McDonald House right there next door in Children's hospital Orange County. Donated all the Surgeries and everything. So yeah, it was at the ending of my training for Ironman.

Wow. How about that for timing? That's just like you said. I mean, so inspiring now. Now you go out and obviously skipping a lot of training, but I want to jump into the Ironman. What was that whole trip like for you?

That Ironman trip was amazing in many ways because the amount of people that came for us, we had over probably 125, 150 people that came over just to support me. And you have Welchie there and you have my brother and you have my dad and my stepmom who's like a mom to me. You have my other brother. I mean, you had like all of a sudden like major components in my life that weren't there not too long before that. So it was really emotional and it was as nervous as I've ever been because the pressure just really got to me on that part. And this is exponentially was like, wow, there's all these people, there's all these Kilimanjaro. You're all by yourself per se, with a bunch of guys, all mountain and everything else.

Where Iron man, it's like you got one day and you have to finish it under 17 hours. You cannot come back tomorrow. You can't take a real rest based on me because in Welch's calculations, based on all of our training, I was going to push the limit of that 17 hour cutoff time. So it had to be, per se, a perfect race. And he had it diabolically broken down. Exactly.

It's insane.

Yeah, it's insane how well he did it, showed the different type of love that the time he spent just on the race portion was insane.

And here's the thing for you, I mean, I felt so bad for you because the year before it took you two years to train because of the physical recovery and stuff. And the year before you went and watched the Ironman. And forgive me if I'm getting the story wrong, but wasn't there a woman who was literally like 10 yards from the finish line and then at 17 hours, maybe she was 20 yards or 100 yards, but at 17 hours they said, nope, sorry, you're done.

Yeah, that was brutal. So while she's again, another stroke of genius from him was he's like you need to come out for the race the year before and just take it all in train on the highway. Because he goes. The intensity of the heat and everything, you gotta understand that you're walking into the biggest furnace you have ever Done. And you have to exercise in it on top of that. So I went out there the year before and he was like, hey, come back for the last hour of the race. When you're project when we're projecting you to finish so you can see. Exactly. They call it the magic hour. And it's like these people that some of them don't expect to be there at that time, some of them do. And it's like.

So some are either super stoked that they beat the 17 hours and others have had just an awful day and they're hours behind, but they're somehow fighting through it. He goes, it's a miracle. He goes, it's just magic when the energy and everybody shows back up in the stands and they pack it a couple thousand people. It's fascinating. And there we are and it's like, oh my gosh. And someone like maybe a few minutes before that had just finished and this guy that announced the race is amazing. And all of a sudden his spotter tells him, oh my gosh. He goes, we got one more. And you look at the clock and there's like 30 seconds left to 17 hours. And he runs down the thing and he's like, girl, you gotta go.

And he's yelling and you can't touch him because you get disqualified if you touch him. So he's like basic. And she's doing this crazy lean. Everything's cramping, she's barely walking. And he's like, you gotta go. And everybody's yelling and it's like, everybody's like so emotional. And she has no idea where she is. She has no. And she just knows to keep running straight. And she misses it by like three seconds. And like the whole crowd was crying. It was gnarly. And I was just. And it horrified me because I was like, that could be me. It scared me to death that could be me next year.

And now that's that now that thoughts in your head.

Oh, 100%. That's all I could get the next year. Training, though, it actually spurred me on, I think a next level. But it was because of that. It was fear that I wouldn't finish for sure. That that part right there was definitely a key contributor training the next year.

So now you get there, it's race time. Everyone thinks your body's going to feel as good as it's ever felt. Everything's perfect, you're completely fine tuned. But you jump in the water to do a swim with your brother and you tweak your shoulder. How many Days before the race Was that.

I think that was. That's a great question. I need to. I want to say it was maybe three or four days. I want to say before the race, it was definitely within a week.

Right.

Because I went out there a couple of weeks early to acclimate. But I want to say it was, you know, maybe a couple to four days before the race, so.

And so now you have something else in your head, right? Oh, yeah.

Just what you. And that's supposed to be my one part of the race that I really do well at. I love swimming. It takes the weight off my legs and the stiffness and everything like that. So I love the ocean so much. So everything about that part was supposed to be my, quote, unquote, smoothest part of the race to save my energy for the bike and the run.

So then how did you talk yourself through that? How did you get inside your own head in the right way and create the conversation in your head that you needed to have and take you through that day?

The conversation was an interesting one because it was like the standard, I think what people go through, there's nerves. There's, you know, some doubt. There's also some positivity that I did the work, I did the training, and you just sometimes have to just trust that whatever's going to happen is going to happen. But the calmness and everything really did not happen for me until I literally put my head under the water before the start. And, like, when I got in the water, Welchie said, be the one of the last people into the water so that you save even that much energy. That's how diabolically methodical Welch's training was. You've got to be the last person in the water. Stay in the back, front, left corner. He told me exactly where to start the race, but until I put my head under the water.

And then all of a sudden, this calmness and strength came over me that was like. I took it as my grandfather was with me, and he was. You know, he swam every day in the ocean till he was 80. So I just literally was like, I'm going to be okay, and this is going to be a different journey than Kilimanjaro. And this is a journey that I've been inspired by people. It's been positive. It's like a lot of parts of me were healed. And this calmness that I'd never have in my entire head, I'd never had in my entire life came over as I put those first, literally three or Four strokes to get in position before the start of the race.

Wow. And so you get out of the water, you get on the bike. What was that like?

The perfect ride is what Cannondale dubbed it is. We knew that it would come down to the bike per se, because there's a bike cutoff. So there's a cutoff for the swim, there's cutoff for the bike, and then there's the 17 hour cutoff. So you actually have three cutoffs. And so the bike was what we knew is my hardest because I'm in a position that makes my legs and the bike is all pretty much legs. So that's where my CP is. So we knew Cannondale obviously did not build an exact new frame or anything, but took existing everything, but built it exactly for me. So the Cannondale bike was built exactly for Ironman for me. And so we dubbed it the Bonner's Got to do the perfect ride in order to make that cutoff.

And then we would basically throw all our chips on the table and be like. And literally Welchy said, I've got a plan on the marathon, but we have no idea how much energy you've had because you've never done a full before. Your body can't handle that. So we kind of said once you get off that bike, if we can get you in before the cutoff, then we're going to kind of just have a set thing to do. But we honestly don't know how much energy or what shape you're going to be when you get off that bike.

And how did the perfect ride go?

Well, there's always like two sides. I would say it's amazing in the sense that we projected exactly. Welchy projected exactly eight hours that I needed to do the bike. And the official time of my bike ride was 8 hours and 1 second.

God, is that bizarre. I mean, so that's just amazing.

It's nuts and it's in it. But again, it goes to them and the amazing coaching I had and everything else to stick to this. He taught me exactly how to handle each part of the race and when. That was the good part and the interesting part was he didn't tell me until when he went over methodic details of the race that every aid station on the bike, because my hip flexors are the ones that spasm and go out first when I ran the marathon after Jakey died. So he knew that my hip flexors are going to get shot at some juncture. So he's like, how do I fool your hip flexors? To think that they're better than they are. This is what he told me after.

So he told me four, five, six days before the race when were going over the plan, he said, every aid station, you're going to have to pull over and they have these big trash cans full of ice. And he goes, the ice goes together and clumps together so fast because of the humidity. He goes, you got to grab one of those huge ice clumps every aid station and shove it down the front of your pants.

Ouch.

And I was like, you got to be kidding. And so he's like, no, we're going to numb out your. So your hip flexors cannot start spasming down the rest of your legs, which will continue to tire out your legs. We need them as relaxed as possible. So the brilliance of Welch said, that's what you do. So that was the amazing thing. But what happens when you shove a huge ice chunk down the front of your spandex pants? Well, it melts really fast. And insane heat conditions. Well, when you ride slow, it doesn't blow off the back of your legs. It runs into your shoes. And we didn't really know that would happen because of how slow I ride.

And so therefore, when your feet get soaking wet, as we've all had soaking wet feet and hands in the pool or the hot tub, get really easy to cut and scratch or whatever and bleed. And sure enough, when I got off the bike, my feet were both bloody messes because of the softness of my skin got from all the water going through in my wet socks for eight hours per se. You have these really grossly soft feet that now are completely bloody messes after the bike. So I. The time was amazing, but we did not anticipate obviously what would happen to my feet because of the water.

And then you have to go run a marathon.

You know, why not, right?

Yeah, let's go do that.

Yep. And so that was. That was a fascinating one for sure.

Hey, this is Ed. And I know you are enjoying this wonderful conversation with Bonner and you're probably wondering where you can learn more about the One Man, One Mission foundation as well as lift it up and support it. So I thought I'd share some information with you on the OMF mission, vision and values, as well as a website to go to. The vision of the OMF is to empower children with disabilities and their families to live life beyond limits. The mission is to raise awareness and support centers that provide services to empower children with disabilities and their families to live life beyond limits in their communities and their values. All children with disabilities should receive the services and support needed to build a better life and move beyond the limits of their circumstances.

Everyone is able to make a difference by dedicating themselves to inspiring others to go beyond their limits. Their goal is that all funds raised by OMF are allocated to its charitable purpose. You know where every single dollar is going to. The foundation subscribes to productive partnerships and relationships that embody integrity, clear purpose and passion with innovative excellence in all project outcomes. And to see this and more and to support them, go to one man, one mission.org and that's the number one man, the number one. And then mission.org and that is also in the show notes with the link to the website. And this is where it gets really fun. So I want to, we're going to talk about the marathon, but let's talk about your support crew because you had some unbelievable people there. I know, I know. Dilly was in the house.

Tell me about the blue cowboy hat.

Yeah, so the blue cowboy hats, they're those giant 10 gallon ones. I always say from like Dumb and Dumber is a great example. When Jim Carrey was wearing that one in there, it's just Those giant foam 10 gallon cowboy hats that look like a giant taco shell. And so he calls me like leading up to the race and he's like, we got to have team shirts. And I was like, oh yeah, we got that, you know, tear in Oakley. Got those taken care of and everything like that. And. And I was like, yeah, every, there's a lot of people that will have team shirts. And he's like, well then we gotta have more, you know, we have to stand out. I want everybody to know you're there and everything else. And I just laughed so hard and I was like, okay, man.

I'm like, I'm swamped. So if you want to find something like that, he's like, go for it, run with it. And sure enough, like not even a day or two later, this link comes across and he's like, yep. And he lives in Texas and grew up in Texas. And he sends me this email link and he goes, I found him and I clicked on it and I looked at him and I just started laughing. It was these foam hats and he's like, we can customize them, we can do whatever. He's like, I'll take care of it. We'll drop ship them out there. Like all these hilarious things. So it was just hilarious. So you had 125 or so people out there with these giant blue cowboy hats made of foam out in the heat.

And they say, go Bonner on the side, and it's got the OM logo on the front. And it was just like the best thing coming around the turns and everything of this, the part of the course that was in town. It was so great to always see those big blue hats and everything like that. They were absolutely the best thing and I could look for them anywhere.

So cool. Yeah, so cool. Now you put in the book, you put the story about when you're running through. Is it called the Energy Lab, Correct?

Oh, yes.

And you tell the story about Welch and his wife were running with you, but they really weren't running with you.

What was that like at that juncture? It was a fast paced. Was trying to do a fast paced walk. Because about mile 10, Energy Labs, about mile 17 of the marathon portion, okay, so about mile 10 is when my organs started shutting down. Meaning that as I went through the aid station and I had a system of when to drink the water, when to drink the Coke, when to drink the Gatorade, and when to drink the chicken broth. Welchie taught me, like, hey, this is how you drink them in this order. Even drinking them in that order. When your body's starting to shut down, it rejects all fluids because it's trying to make you stop doing whatever you're doing physically, because it is shutting down.

And so starting 10, you drink all these things and then you either throw them up or they come out, either as pee or obviously the back end. So Starting in mile 10, I started using the bathroom, every thing. And then all of a sudden I realized it's taking too much time. So you have to do the lovely choice of what Welch as well as you just go and you just keep going to the bathroom and you keep walking or running. And so I was like, that's what it's gonna have to do. So by the time I got to the Energy Lab, it's pitch black. It's probably, I'm gonna say, nine or ten o' clock at night. And you start like per se, hallucinating or just. It's like a really drunk night. That's the best way to kind of feel.

And you don't really pay attention to anything except trying to just put the next foot in front of you. And so all of a sudden this light comes up behind you, like, oh, maybe someone's walking past me or jogging past me or whatever, because there's not many people out there. So it's odd. And the roads are closed for any cars and there's Welchy and his wife on a moped and the tracking system at Ironman had gone down and so there hadn't been a check in for a long time on my anklet or the chip. And so they got worried that like something really bad had happened to me because my times were getting longer in between each checkpoint. So while she was like, he's starting to shut down. He knew it.

And so they jumped on the moped to go out and just make sure that I was okay. Because the darkness and everything else like that, people can absolutely, you know, just be laying there. Everybody has to kind of take care of each other. But they knew I was at the back end of it. So there really wasn't maybe anybody there. He got, they got really worried. Yeah. So, yeah, they showed up and it was like Christmas morning for them. They were so excited that I was still upright and that I was still moving forward. I mean, they were ecstatic. And he's trying to take pictures, he's trying to do everything. He's running in flip flops. It was, it made me chuckle. Even though I felt awful. It just made me chuckle that I was like, this guy has won this race.

He's a world champion.

Yeah, exactly.

So excited that I'm still up right. At 16, 15, 16 hours into this thing.

Yeah, yeah. And so now you've got the rest of the race to run and you're running, I mean, you had to just be physically, mentally, emotionally drained. But I'm going to tell you what, I watched the video. I have the picture right here of you crossing the finish line and you have more energy than. I mean, I think I have some days. Ok. And you got the big blue hat on. What in the world. I mean, what was that feeling like? And what was just going through your mind?

That was amazing. And not really remembering. I had to look at the video because. And there's a big long shoot with everybody celebrating him. And the guy from Cannondale is like next to me and he's like. I had no idea what he was saying. All I knew is that like someone says you gotta go is what I thought he said. And they were, they said that. They said, you only have a little bit to go. I heard you gotta go. Because my watch ran out of batteries, everything. So I was so freaked out. And all I remember is my buddy just slams the big cat on my head, gives me the OM flag because that was. We were. I was hoping to just Enjoy that. Shoot and enjoy with that. And nope, I took off like a scared racehorse that someone just spooked.

And I was like, oh, my gosh. And I just was like, boom, gone. And I just. Just started running from a walk and just. Just don't barely even remember it. And then when I saw and that they were there and everybody seemed excited, I was like, I must have made it. And I just started this crazy. They call it the Bonner Dance. And I don't know what it is. It's just everything's flailing everywhere. Arms, legs. I don't know what it is, but.

I'm sure that has been replicated in bars throughout.

Absolutely. There's been many times asked me to bust out that dance again and everything. It's pretty dang funny.

Well, so, I mean, so surreal. And then, you know, you just referenced the OM flag. So let's talk about that. Let's talk about what all this has meant to you. And as we begin to kind of wind this down, I mean, there's so much here, there's so many things inside of these stories that you share with us. I'll ask you a couple more questions. But talk to us about one man, one mission. What you set out, what your mission statement was and what you have accomplished and where you go from here, especially right now. We're in this crazy time, right? We're still in the midst of this COVID 19 pandemic, trying to figure out what's left, what's right, what's next. So share that with us if you could.

Yeah, absolutely. So kind of as promised, coming back from Kilimanjaro, I promised that I would start something after that. So we officially got the federal letter and everything like that in early 2009. And we became a charity in 2009, and our goal was to build disabled center in Tanzania that would help provide physical, occupational, and speech therapy for disabled kids. And what turned into that goal for one center has now turned into. We have centers in five countries, and now we're working and building or have finished seven different centers. And so we're in Tanzania, Kenya, Uganda. We're building an entire campus for all of northern Uganda, and then we have one in Nicaragua. So we're starting in Central America.

And then we have a big one here that we're building with Children's Hospital Orange county with Dr. Minion and their team called the center of Excellence that will train all of our centers globally. And then we're opening it up to begin to include other countries and everything else. Even if they have centers that they can work and be included in our trainings for our centers, because it's not going to really cost as much. So it's something that we're going to open source and allow anybody that can get on these trainings and video trainings in the world is what our next step.

That is so cool. So when you first started one man, one mission, did you ever think that it would evolve into something so massive like it has.

No. I had no idea. It was literally to try to give a gift back to the Tanzanian people for them being so warm and amazing and teaching me some of the most important lessons of my life, of what's important and not things, but community and that they share so well and it's to survive. And so I was like, well, I can build something that I think can try to support these amazing communities that need it. And so, yeah, I had no idea it was literally to build one center over there. And people just jumped on it, I think, because 100% of the money that we raise goes to supporting and building centers. So it's all volunteer. Dr. Minning's volunteer, I'm volunteer. We all pay for our own travel and everything.

So it's kind of got just, we think, this great energy and that all of the money, everything goes to the kids and not to any salaries or anything else.

Congratulations, and thank you for doing something so amazing. You know, the thing that's fascinating to me about your story, man, there's so many things that are fascinating, but you're self described as you spent the first 30 years of your life having a poor attitude, right? And now you identify as a realist with a side of optimism. And, I mean, you're living proof that it's never too late to make that change. When, you know, as long as we're intentional about it, as long as we're committed to it. And it is such a process that's scary as heck and it's painful, it's uncomfortable, yet it's so rewarding and so fulfilling because at the end of the day, you realize that, you know what? I was okay. This is okay to experience these things and have to process these things.

But what would you say to folks, you're standing in front of them and they have some sort of adversity that they didn't choose, right? Like there's some sort of circumstance in their life, and deep down inside they want to believe they're capable of great things. They want to believe that they're capable of making a difference. Whether it's an impact on their team, on their organization, on their community, or like yourself, some amazing nonprofit, what advice would you give them? What are some of the keys to the success that you've had? Banner. Yeah.

No, I think you encapsulated so well that we all carry something inside of us that we struggle with. And whether it's something physical or noticeable or it's something that's obviously just internal from an experience that we had. And it's hard to really honestly look at that. And I didn't for the longest time. And I would say that the first step, that you have to have an openness to say that I've got a challenge or I've got something that I really would love to change. And you got to be kind and gentle to yourself, because I wasn't. For the longest time, I was embarrassed and I beat myself up, and the inner critic would come out, and I would have to stop myself and learn how to retrain myself to not be so hard on me.

And so I would always say the first step is you got to be honest but kind and gentle to yourself, because once you're able to do that, it will actually reveal itself a lot more fully and also give you the energy to go and dive into it. But you have to know it's going to be difficult, like you said, but it's worth it. And it's not. There is no finish line. That's the second thing is you got to be kind and gentle yourself to start it, because there is no finish line, because this is a work that will happen for the rest of your life. Once you take that first step, there really, truly is not turning back. You may think you've turned back even if you've stopped, but you haven't because you've already unlocked it and opened it up.

And therefore, if you've already done that, and I promise you it's worth it, even though it's scary as heck, which I have a long track record of showing how scary and hard it is in the beginning of multiple times falling down on my face. But I always say, make sure you fall forward. If you fall forward, you can dust yourself up, get up, be kind and gentle to yourself, and keep moving forward. Again, there is no finish line, but make sure you have goals. So it's okay to set goals that you are going to get to certain places in this journey, but just there is no finish line. And I always say, like Kilimanjaro, I thought there was a finish line. And therefore, if I just Got to the top of the mountain, everything in my life would be great.

And I had to take that learning and say that was a great goal, but that there is no finish line. So I just had to readjust it what a great goal that was. And all the things I learned from that are the beautiful things that keep opening up in your life. If you're willing to keep putting yourself out there. And at the end of the day, I mean, putting yourself out there with yourself first. And you have to heal yourself first before you can then go out and work and do other things externally. But it has to start inside. And that's the lessons that keep showing up for me. Because until I started looking inside, it would not ever make those external things validate me inside.

I mean, it's so powerful, you know, the acknowledgement, right. And give yourself an openness with yourself. And then number two, there is no finish line. Falling forward, keep moving forward, setting goals and really remaining open up and being willing to get uncomfortable and get outside the comfort zone. But number two, which you talked about, there is no finish line. And I think that's the big overwhelm that so much of us have felt and so many of us feel where, okay, there's no finish line. And I relate that to when you climb Kelly, right. You're climbing this enormous mountain and you could stand there at the end of one day or the end of the second day or the end of day three and look at the top and be like, good God, we have all this way to go still.

But the key is to realize the feedback loop, right? Realize how far you've come in progress you made and that you know there's going to be more things that show up for you as you talk about the willingness to keep moving forward and. Yep. And how did you that whole overwhelm that showed up, talk about that feeling of like amazement that things did keep showing up.

We have the opportunity. And what I just looked in my reflection, I always say I always have to reference my experiences. I had so many beautiful things happening to me. But my conditioning and stuff from growing up was of critical nature or non existent dealing with anything. So therefore I was missing a lot of these things. And I would just say turn your focus from that bad attitude or focusing on the things that aren't going right in your life. Turn that focus to what is going right. There is always something. And so even when you feel like there is nothing going right in your life, I challenge you to go find something that is in that moment because you're not going to find two things or three things if you don't go find one.

So I would just say the challenge is to stop focusing on the things that aren't going right. And that is okay, because it's switching and saying, I'm being real. It's like, okay, I know there's bad things going on, but I'm also being realist. There is something good going on right now in my life, and I need to find it. And that's being a realist and saying, no, my life is just junk. And da, da. That's a pessimist. You know, say, it's okay to say I'm a realist and I'm having major challenges, and right now I don't really feel like it is, but I truly need to go find something good in my life that's a realist. And then when you find that good thing, you're like, okay, I'm an optimist, because I'm going to go find it and I'm going to maybe find more.

And that's where that realist with a side of optimism is so important. And I was a pessimist for so long, and I also then turned to this optimist and I was like, that's not right. Because that's kind of, put it, blowing things, that everything is going to be just magically okay. So I've been in all spots and settled on the realist with the side of optimism because of that.

God, I love that. And then last piece, we talk a lot. I work with a lot of my clients on the authenticity piece. Right. And we break that down in honesty, integrity, and the last one is vulnerability. And you and I are cut from a similar cloth in a sense that went through a stage in our life where we didn't ask for help and we didn't want to ask you what the answer was. Or give me some help for this because I don't want to show a sign of weakness when actually that was a sign of weakness. But what was the key to you to opening up and becoming more vulnerable and realizing it's okay to fill this gap that I have with help from somebody else.

Yep. The key to that for me to vulnerable, because out of those three, I, for sure, vulnerability was the last one for me to do is you have to surrender. You have to be willing to say that I cannot control 99.9% of my own life. And when you surrender to that, you take that energy that is 99.9% per se, not Wasted, but could be used a lot better. And you take that entire energy and you hold it inside of you and you focus on the 0.1% you can control and making that amazing. Imagine if you found 99.9% more energy than you currently have because you're maybe not doing those things. You now have hundred times, almost found hundred times more energy and you can choose to actually focus actually a thousand times more energy.

You can choose now to put that internally on the work of clearing out the guck inside you, being okay with it, honoring it, respecting it, labeling it, finding out what it really is and where it started from, and being okay with all those things and being willing to not be okay. Sometimes it's okay to not be okay. Sometimes we tell ourselves we have to feel great all the time. We have it better than other people. I went that route. I had a lot of guilt and everything that said I should be doing more and everything because I've got legs and I was born here in the United States and all these other privileges and I had to get rid of that and say no, that's actually unhealthy.

And so when you're able to utilize all that energy inside of you instead of expert in trying to control things you can't in this world, you actually have the energy then to go in and look that deep and to do the deep, heavy lifting within us, which is way harder than any type of control measures externally. That was surrendering. That was saying that it all lies within me first. And the power and strength and love and everything that I want lies within me. I just have to uncover it from all the gunk of our conditioning.

Wow, that's so powerful. I mean, Bonner, I can't thank you enough for sharing all this with us today. And we will have everything in the show notes. We'll have one man, one mission.org in there. Obviously, we'll have some phenomenal show notes. We're going to have some great clips from this. And Bonner, I can't thank you enough for your time, but I have to ask you, as we close, is there another physical challenge coming up anytime soon?

Well, I promised my family and loved ones that I wouldn't do another one after Ironman because it took me five years to recover.

Did it really? It took you five years?

I think I'm finally worth more alive than dead.

That's a positive. I like that.

Yeah, absolutely. So there's the realism coming in with a side of optimism. So I, I feel like my most effectiveness now is taking my wisdom and experiences of physical and everything else to build entirely new things out in the world and projects in the world that hopefully will sustain for a long time. So I don't anticipate it, but if someone were to offer me an insane amount of money to donate to the foundation, I would definitely at least be open to considering it.

Well, you know, congratulations on that decision. Cause that sounds like a pretty smart decision. And I think you've earned it. I think you've more than earned it. And even saying that's an understatement.

Thank you very much, brother. I appreciate it.

Hey, Bonner. I appreciate you. I appreciate your time and all of this. It was so great to have you here.

Thank you very much for having me, Ed.

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